Narcissism Part 1

Narcissism is a double-edged sword that many do not know how to wield, nor are aware of its existence within them. It can make you feel like a boss or, at the other end of the spectrum, a needy little boy. Everyone has an element of narcissism within them,  and it is important to identify and understand how it plays out in your life, especially socially and in relationships.

Narcissism is defined as an excessive interest in oneself or admiration of oneself and physical appearance. In psychology, it can be viewed as selfishness involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration as a characterizing personality type.

Narcissism is more difficult to spot than most people realize. Modern society normalizes and even rewards narcissism. Social media has a huge part to play in this; narcissist can be created through constant validation from others, and this is a dangerous form of narcissism- almost pathological- because the source of that entitled feeling does not come from within.









A second reason narcissism is difficult to spot is that narcissism itself is not necessarily bad. Just like any behavior, it is not the action itself that really matters, but the intent or mindset.

Some of the positive effects of narcissism include; 

  • Increased self-esteem - because you would think highly of yourself.

  • Confidence - an effect of increased self-esteem. 

  • Self-reflection - Improving areas you lack in.

Narcissism can be healthy as long as it comes from within and is not exaggerated. Just like a double-edged sword, narcissism can help you and it can hurt you. A narcissistic personality disorder is a form unhealthy narcissism that is capable of dealing lasting psychological damage.

A narcissistic personality disorder is a state of extreme narcissism in which you basically think that you're a god.  Feelings of inadequacy are fairly common in today’s western society, many tend to seek validation from the outside, rather than from within, to relieve these feelings. Social media has made it much easier to compare yourself to an idealized image of another, fueling the inadequate feelings. On top of that, it then provides us with a variety of methods of gaining instant gratification to suppress any feeling of inadequacy. The problem is that these methods tend to breed narcissists - and not the good kind.

A narcissist that requires any form of external validation to feel good can be referred to a codependent narcissist. Guys who need the approval of women to feel complete are good examples.  Pick up artists are a good example of people who rate themselves on the reactions of women. Another example are needy individuals who put themselves before their partner, because their current partner is their largest source of validation. Being in a relationship with a codependent narcissist is tricky because they might just be with you because you are their current main source of validation, and when they become acclimated to you, they will eventually seek a new source. 

I don't want to make this post too long, but there will be more in the future on how to tell if you're a narcissist, how to spot a codependent narcissist, and how to control your narcissism. We are all narcissists to varying extents, it is very important to realize when our narcissistic selves take control, and when we are dealing with the narcissistic part of a person. 

The Confident Man. 2020.

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