There have been so many instances in my life where I have found myself frustrated, and I spent so much of my time concentrated on being upset that I would never actually resolve the issue at hand. When you’re in this state of mind, you’re only building up that negative energy and fueling destructive tendencies that take away from your potential to grow. After taking the time to reflect on the stressors in my life, I began to notice this theme that revolved around control.
There’s a quote that I always refer to when I catch myself in this state of mind; “You can never control what happens to you in life, but you can always control how you react to it”. There are always going to be instances in your life where things aren’t going to go your way - maybe the girl you’re interested in doesn’t like you back, or maybe your employer doesn’t see your potential and doesn’t believe you’re qualified for a promotion. When I caught myself in a negative mindset, I’d focus all my energy on how much I disagreed with them, when the fact of the matter is that I never took the time to reflect on myself to see where I may have gone wrong or how I could improve. However, there are always going to be instances out of your control.
In the end, you can never control the ways that others will perceive you, and it’s a waste of time to try and convince them to see you in a specific way. You could give your best efforts to be helpful, and you could be seen as a suck-up. You could make a conscious effort to be nice, and people could see you as fake. The one thing you can control, however, is how you perceive yourself. If you’re giving your best and honest effort to be a good person, and you’re finding yourself discouraged from the way people are reacting to you, then I would recommend taking a moment to remind yourself internally that you are. When you catch yourself feeling down on any subject, take a moment to perceive how you want to react to it, and whether it is something that’s in your control. When it’s something you can fix, you can take the initiative to resolve it. But when the instance is something out of your control, you ultimately get to choose how you want to react to it - and that way, you can always be in control of yourself.